Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Rating: 9 out of 10 Bites


Rosemary’s Baby is probably one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s suspenseful and creepy without relying on any blood or gore whatsoever. The film has an R rating, but it’s important to remember that it came out in the 60’s– by today’s standards, it would undoubtedly fall into the PG-13 category.

One thing that this movie is full of is assholes. Goddamn witchy assholes, and today, I’m going to list my two favorites.

At the heart of Rosemary’s Baby is tragedy. We know from the beginning that Rosemary’s husband played a major role in her demonic conception, so it’s kind of difficult to watch her get all giddy over feeling the baby kick while her husband recoils at the thought of it. Asshole. Perhaps the biggest tragedy of the movie is the fact that, when it’s all said and done, the worst punishment that’s bestowed on him is a little bit of spit in his face. If my husband let the devil rape me while he watched, then let me suffer through nine months of sheer agony, and pretended my baby died at birth, I’d give him a lot worse than that. Hell, I’d sick my demon child on him– when life gives you lemons, right?


Runner up for biggest asshole in the movie is Dr. Hill. He’s worse than Sapirstein, because at the end of the day, Sapirstein knows he’s a bad guy. I mean, he’s tricking a woman into giving birth to the Jesus of the underworld– there’s no way of justifying these things. Dr. Hill, on the other hand, listens to Rosemary’s entire story, pretends to be the only freaking person in the entire movie who believes her, actually suggests an escape plan to her, pretends to follow through with said escape plan, then ultimately sells her out to team witch. I get being tactful– you never want to let someone know that you think they’re probably crazy. But did he really need to come up with a fake plan of escape? That’s taking things a tad bit far, if you ask me.


Streaming: Netflix


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